Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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