i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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