Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
