Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
