I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
