Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
