At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
