I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
