i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Everclear isn't food dammit
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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