i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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