Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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