i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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