I am full of burrito and curiosity
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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