He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
