you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
