You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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