I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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