Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I have aggressive nipples.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
