so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
