woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
