Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
