your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
