We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
