is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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