When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
