Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
