1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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