so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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