Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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