Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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