Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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