I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
