Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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