If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
