Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
