Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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