my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
