I just pynch a tree in the face
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
