you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
