he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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