fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
