I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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