Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
