...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
