drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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