that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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