I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
