This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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