Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
These tits shall not be calmed
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