he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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